Not Her
by VBstar
Summary: One-Shot. What happened after Edward saved Bella from that car crash what was going through his mind. This is the conversation between Edward and Carlisle after the incident. Much better than it sounds. Please read and review.


A/N: this is a one-shot I just had to write. I thought it was a good idea let me know! REVIEW!

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EPOV

" I know it was reckless Carlisle, I am so sorry I know could have exposed us I just…did it." I begged with my loving father figure horrified with myself for saving a human girl, what did she mean to me?

"I am not mad at you son how could I you saved a human life." He reassured me.

"All in the risk of exposing us" I growled, "it wasn't, wasn't rational." My temper got to me a pinched to bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger, a habit.

"But, you didn't expose us." He reminded me.

"She could tell someone." I said my jaw clenched tightly. Why couldn't he be mad at me I deserved it.

"I don't think she will." Carlisle said I far look in his eyes.

"Please Carlisle just be mad at me I did something that could have hurt are whole family." I pleaded.

"I am sorry Edward, I can't." He said his voice strained.

I growled frustrated. Why did he have to be so damn understanding. Moments went by that eventually turned into minutes.

"What was your cause, Edward for saving the girl?" he didn't sound annoyed or angry just…curious?

I hadn't thought about that when I did it the only thing I could think of was "Not her" I was not a rational thought. There has to be some other reason. I wasn't in love with Isabella swan was I? a fraction of a second past as I thought about this. I knew he could tell my momentary pause as I quickly deliberated an excuse.

"If her blood would have spilled in front of me I wouldn't have been able to resist. It would have ruined us everything you have built. That still is a poor excuse for my action." I thought up quickly not quickly enough for him not to notice though. It was a perfectly good excuse though I complimented myself.

"What were you really thinking Edward?" He asked warily.

I looked at him in pure shock how did he…know? Did my eyes betray me with a pure look of guilt for lying? I had to answer soon so I composed myself.

"Not her." I whispered real low I knew he could still hear me. No point in lying now.

He nodded in understanding, "You love her." He stated it wasn't a question just a pure statement.

If I looked shocked before I couldn't imagine how I looked now.

"I can't be in love with her." I said shaking my head. Denial.

"Yet you are Edward." He said wisely.

"No there is some other explanation." I said just because I thought "Not her" didn't make me automatically love her. Right?

"You will see soon son. The love, you can't run from it or hide from it." He told me. I didn't want to believe it. I would have to ignore her not get near her I couldn't endanger her life. I couldn't love her, Bella I was a monster not made to love my _prey._ I though sickened.

"I can't get close to her, I can't love her." I said outraged. I had to leave get out of this conversation. I was getting to many ideas the thought of Bella as mine. Me touching her soft delicate cheek as it flooded with warmth. Are lips moving against each other. Then I remembered how easily I could hurt her. I shook the thoughts out of my head.

"I need to go Carlisle." I said my tone dead. He nodded his head understanding again. I didn't deserve it.

CPOV

He loved her I saw it, once I had been like that. My sweet Esme human and dyeing her blood so sweet pulsing. _La tua cantante. _If I hadn't had so much training I wouldn't no couldn't have been able to resist. I also knew right away that I loved her and knew I had to save her. When I tasted her blood I knew I had to find the will to stop and somehow I did. Esme I wish I would have gotten to know her a little more as a human before I changed her. "Not her" That was the same thing I thought as I saved my sweet Esme I could not let her die. She was to special. My deepest darkest secret Esme didn't know she was _La tua cantante _for me when she was human. I didn't know why I didn't tell her either. I just didn't.

I really hope Edward realized soon that he loved her. There is no denying it. He needs to be happy, he has been the odd man out for so long. I want him to be happy and seeing him happy makes Esme happy and Esme being happy makes me happy.

"Edward loved Bella the moment he said the words, Not her."

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PLEASE tell me what you think. I really don't know is Esme was like that for Carlisle I say he is in this story though so case CLOSED. I thought it was a good idea so Please review. criticism welcome.


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